Sunday, March 3, 2013

Will I be remembered?

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"Tiffy if you want breakfast, you need to start waking up now" Oh the smell of country cooking in the early morning...I can't even describe it! (my Memaw Butler)

 "Let's go shopping, I love shopping with my Granddaughter" (my Grandma Braswell)

"Tiffany go sweep the leaves off my front porch" (Auntie) (funny story...coming later)

"You wanna ride that horse...you tell em you wanna ride that horse! They can't read your mind" (My Great Aunt Sis)

"Papaw...will you wiggle your ears?" (me asking my Papaw Butler to wiggle his ears for my friends...and he did every single time)

Oh there are so many...so many memories I have.  Moments frozen in time in my heart and soul.  Their words, their actions...left marks on the lifeline of my world. 

There are so many times I wonder..."What will people remember me for?" "If something happened to me...would there be anyone at my funeral?" I know it's depressing...to talk about such things...but I have such strong memories of my loved ones who've passed away, have I left a lasting impression on those in my life?

I wish I'd have told those people in my life that I've lost...just what those tiny moments in time meant to me.  I'm a sucker for family...I am VERY sentimental, and I hold onto things that mean something to me!  I even have a piece of a corn bag...back story...we were filling feeders, and as a joke...my husband ripped off a piece of the bag and said, "Don't say I never gave you anything!" I laughed...but when he turned around, I put it in my pocket...I was making a memory, and I still have it!

So...what do I want to be remembered for?  These are the things I pray I will be remembered for:
  1. A loving child of God.
  2. A wife who dearly dearly loved her husband.
  3. A Mom who would have done anything for her child.
  4. A friend, who would listen...and do anything to make you smile.
  5. A daughter, who made her parents proud.
  6. A selfless person...not a selfish person.
  7. A woman with a big heart who loved to give.
It's funny...I look at that list...and see nothing but flaws in my life.  I wonder why I see it that way?  Maybe it is because I strive so hard to be that woman, that I am never satisfied I've done enough to earn that kind of remembrance.  I don't know. 

I pray that I know these things before I die...that I've made a difference, that I didn't squander the life that my precious Lord gave to me.  I have to work at it each day...you don't just do one thing and think "BAM" that is what I will be remembered for.  I'm SO NOT a perfect person! I make mistakes, but I hope that those in my life can overlook those and in the end remember the REAL me.

So...would you like to hear about my Auntie and me...and the "Sweep the Porch Incident" (LOL)

I was about 10ish and we were visiting our family in Alabama.  I was running around the house, apparently driving her crazy...here's how it went:

(now...you have to remember this is a Southern woman...so the spelling is just for you to understand how she spoke...lol)

Auntie:  "Tiffny...get that broom outa my wash room and sweep the leaves off my front porch!"
Me: "NO...that is boring!
Auntie:  "Tiffny...that wasn't a suggestion...do it!
Me: (thinking I was brave) "I don't have to do what you tell me to...you are NOT MY MOTHER!" (BIG mistake)
Auntie: (now standing in front of me with her face in front of mine...eyes to eyes...) "Go pick a switch...NOW!"
Me: "FINE!"

So...I'm a kid...who thought she knew everything...but I was truly...AND IDIOT!  I picked the thinest switch I could find (a switch is a stick you pull off of a bush...it kinda turns into a whip when you pull the leaves off...ouch)

Me:  "HERE!"
Auntie: "Sit down on the porch"
Me: (feeling kind of confused...sit?)

With ONE swipe of that switch the leaves were gone...it was like it happened in S L O W motion, she flung her legs around mine...locked her knees, grabbed my feet and whipped the bottom of my feet until they bleed!  Now I know most of you are thinking CHILD ABUSE!!!  But it wasn't like that at all...she lived by "Spare the rod...spoil the child" motto...all of my family did.

When she was done...she threw the switch down, handed me the broom...told me to quit crying and sweep the porch. I DID AS I WAS TOLD! 

When I was done...she came outside and told me what a great job I did...then she took me inside and made me lunch.  

And from that day on...everytime I went to visit her...I swept her front porch!  Not out of fear...out of respect.  We talked about that day, every time I went to see her...and as I grew up we laughed about it.  That woman was one of my best friends...when she died...a piece of me died with her.  The day of her funeral was so hard.  So many people in the house...too much going on.  I went outside, to the washroom...got the broom...and swept the leaves off of her porch, one last time. 

I cried the entire time...I'm crying now as I type this.  I know you must think I'm crazy...but that whopppin' wasn't about being mean...but it was the total opposite...it was about love...pure and simple.  I learned respect for her that day, and I learned what it meant to recieve it.

Ok...I can't see the keys anymore.  So I will leave you with this question..."What will you be remembered for?"

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